Desire to Fall in Love With Myself Again

 

Throughout life, we pour our love into the people around us; parents, siblings, friends, partners… Our sense of worth begins to revolve around how others perceive us... Slowly, and often without realizing it, we start doing everything in our power to be accepted… To be seen... To be loved…

Have you ever found yourself trying so hard to be enough for others that you forgot who you were?

In this need to feel recognized, we fall into the trap of people – pleasing... We do kind things, sometimes from the heart, but often in the hope of being valued... And when those we care for reciprocate, we feel complete... But that feeling becomes addictive... We start depending on others for our happiness…

And while we’re busy counting on them, we cross the invisible line of our own boundaries…

We give them more importance than we give ourselves… Slowly, unknowingly, we hand over the reins of our lives. They start to influence how we think, act, even feel physically, mentally, spiritually… We become so immersed in them that we stop noticing how far we've drifted from our own truth…

We start dressing like them…
Talking like them…
Thinking like them…

When was the last time you made a choice that was truly your own; not shaped by someone else’s opinion?

Here’s a simple but powerful observation: look at any couple married for a decade or more... In most cases, their habits, speech, even worldviews begin to mirror each other... Sometimes it's mutual growth… But often, it’s one partner slowly blending into the other; losing individuality in the name of love or peace…

And then, life throws a moment of silence, a pause where we find ourselves alone, perhaps emotionally or physically… That’s when realization strikes…

We begin to hear accusations:
"You’ve changed…"
"You're acting strange..."
"Stop overthinking, you're being too emotional..."

But haven’t we changed only because we stopped following the script we never wrote?

Those same people who once praised us now find us inconvenient… They appreciated us; as long as we were easy to mold… But the moment we reclaim ourselves, we become “difficult.”

And that’s when the truth breaks through:
We weren’t loved for who we were. We were appreciated for who we became for them.

It hurts... Deeply…
The fortress of love we thought we built crumbles… And it’s not strangers, but our closest who make us feel most alone...

This moment can break you…
Or it can build you…

Some find the courage to gather their scattered pieces, not to return to their old selves, but to recreate themselves, this time with care, clarity, and compassion…
They build new walls not to block others out, but to define where they begin and end… These are walls made of self- respect, personal truth, and love not for the world, but for themselves.

Isn’t it time we give ourselves the love we’ve so freely given to others?

It’s never too late...
No matter your age, no matter your past - the moment you awaken to your truth, it becomes the right time…

You no longer need permission to feel seen…
You no longer need to be accepted or validated…

You just need to be appreciated by yourself…

Because life, after all, is not about becoming someone for others…

It’s about remembering who you were before the world asked you to forget…

 

When the Universe Decides to Reconnect What Was Once Lost

Have you ever felt that some connections are just waiting for the right moment to return?

Few days back something truly unexpected happened; I reconnected with an old friend after more than a decade of silence... Life had moved on, misunderstandings had widened the gap, and honestly, I never imagined we’d speak again... But sometimes, the universe quietly works behind the scenes, gently nudging two people back toward unfinished conversations...

A few months ago, my husband Tarun was scrolling through WhatsApp statuses when he stumbled upon one shared by Monu; a name from the past... The three of us, Tarun, Monu, and I, had once been close in our college days... Over time, a misunderstanding led us to drift apart, and in my hurt, I had deleted her contact...

But that day, without thinking much, I saved her number again under the name Monika Madan... Why? I’m still not sure. Was it just impulse, or something more?

Not long after, I heard that another schoolmate, Monika Mehran, wasn’t keeping well... Intending to check on her, I casually picked up the phone one day without my reading glasses and accidentally called Monika Madan instead...

Her daughter answered... She told me her mom wasn’t well and promised she'd return the call... I didn’t think much of it and moved on with my day... Little did I know, that small misdial was about to open an old door...

When the phone rang again, a familiar voice greeted me. “Who is this?” she asked...
“It’s Ritu,” I replied, “I was trying to reach Monika Mehran.”
“You have the wrong number,” she said...

But that voice… it stayed with me...

Have you ever felt a voice pull at your memory like a forgotten melody?

I checked my call history, and there it was... I had called Monika Madan, not Mehran. I paused... My fingers hovered, and something deep within urged me to call again...

This time, I reintroduced myself properly and explained the mix-up...

And then… we talked...

We didn’t just exchange pleasantries, we opened up... For over an hour, we shared our stories, heartaches, and milestones... She told me about the recent passing of her mother... I listened, and then I shared too... Slowly, the space between us started dissolving... It was like rediscovering a piece of yourself you had long forgotten...

On 26th June 2025, she visited me... That day, time stood still...

So much had gone unsaid... In our years of playing roles; as mothers, daughters, wives; we had tucked away the thread of our friendship... But that day brought it all back, raw and real... We didn’t need apologies... We needed presence, acknowledgment, and space to feel...

Have you ever sat with someone after years and felt like no time had passed; and yet, everything had changed?

That reunion wasn’t just about catching up... It was about healing... We realized how much of ourselves we had left behind in trying to be everything to everyone else...

Later that evening, Tarun called... He asked, “How did Monika look? Did you both feel surprised seeing each other after so long?”

Oddly, I had no answer... We never paused to notice appearances... No talk of clothes, weight, aging... As women, surprisingly, none of that mattered in that moment... We were immersed in words, emotions, and silent understanding...

Isn’t it strange that sometimes the soul recognizes before the eyes do?

It felt like sitting with a doctor who knew your emotional history; one who wasn’t there to judge, only to listen... And in that sacred space, we both began to heal, in ways we didn’t know we needed...

If we truly commit to growth be it spiritual, mental, or emotional and if we trust the universe, then the universe finds its own way of aligning us with the right people... The ones who trigger growth, healing, or reflection... The ones who remind us of who we are beneath our daily identities...

But the question remains:

Do we notice when the universe is trying to reconnect us with something meaningful?

The choice is always ours...

It’s our free will that decides whether we welcome these reconnections or walk past them... Growth is not just belief it’s also brave action... Recognizing such moments and embracing them may be the very thing that transforms our journey...

Maybe it was never a wrong number...

Maybe it was the universe making sure we finish what we once began...